girlfriend : whatever aadrian i hate u

Sunday
~*26/10/08*~

11:59:14 girlfriend : whatever aadrian i hate u
12:03:51 me :
12:03:57 me : dat hurts

This was the first time she said she hates me. Well, she didn't actually said it...I was blogging and chatting with her on YM. Got really bored blogging and somewhat felt a bit claustrophobic at home. Wanted to go out...then a friend called, asked me out...I said yes...Told me girl I was going out, asked her to take care of herself (she has a flu & she's going on vacation next week...don't want her to have a holiday with that flu of hers, do I?) ...and she got really pissed...I said I'm sorry and I needed to go out and the next thing...read the above message.

As you can see...It took me a full 5 minutes to say something...I was...I dunno...confused? stunned? Never before did she say something like that...

Okay... 10 minutes have passed I have no idea what to say or what to write...I'm not mad or anything...I'm just feeling really depressed right now...I feel like I want to justify why I simply wanted to go out...I've got all these things in me head...just aching to pour out...It's nothing personal against my girlfriend...I swear...It's simply a cumulative of all the stress I'm facing right now and somehow I feel the need to pour it out. But then again...putting it on this post makes it look like...as if she's the cause of it (which I hereby SWEAR it is NOT...if you think otherwise, that's your problem...not mine)...or I'm making excuses or reason to defend myself.

I just feel the need to pour it out at someone...to put all my cards down...telling someone straight what's been bothering me...okay, basically I just want to whine how bloody...bored? stressful? shitty? I dunno...It's none of that, but I just don't know the right word for it. And to tell you the truth, I don't feel like writing it down because I feel like CONFIDING it to someone...as in to TALK to someone about it...no advice, no pity, no joking around, just shut up and listen to what I'm blathering about...I know that by writing it down its one way to reduce my stress levels...and probably I will write it down...but I just need to talk, you know? My social life is somewhat almost non-existent right now...

ah fuck it, I'm writing it down now! I need to release some steam!

Oh and to my girlfriend...I'm not mad at you or anything like that hun. I'm just currently stressed out and I need to let off some issues I've been having. and yes...I know it's my fault...It's been sometime since I let go me stress on me blog (yes yes, I know...I haven't been releasing me stress on me blog...I'll update it and be more quick on it) wuv u hun! *hugs & kisses*

Warning! From this point onwards I'll be rambling about me problems...It's a no-brainer...and yes I know there's probably millions out there who is in worse off shape than I am...but like I said, I'm letting off steam. Plus its my bloody blog, I can write whatever I want! So bugger off! If you're not interested, then don't read on! You have been warned!

Ok. Where should I start? So many bloody issues its all jumbled up in me head. I'll try to categorize it...(yes, I like to make it organize even when I want to blow off steam even though I know it WILL come out in a mess and won't make any sense...did I mention I was a worrier? <- see what I mean?) First order at hand...myself. Why da fuck are you not in shape??? Why am I not disciplined?? Why am I still in a mess? Why can't I keep my bloody room nice and neat? Why am I not working my ass off to be the person who I want to be? Why am I lazy? How do manage my time between my family, my girlfriend and my friends? How and when do I establish my own game company? Will it ever be achieved? Will I ever travel? Will I ever be free??? How do I get enough money to support my family? to finance my game company? to get married? Can I support my family when my mom retires in 5 or 6 more years from now? If so, do I have anymore to get married? When do I get to marry? Will I get married? Do I stay a bachelor and devote myself to me mum & sis? Where do I get that kind of money? Legally? Will I ever get that kind of money? Why can't I keep my blog updated? Do I write everything? Is it safe? Is it suicidal? Why can't I socialize as much I wanted? Why can't I say what I REALLY want to say? Why can't I explain or describe? Why do I stutter when someone who speaks better than me? Why do I have such low self-esteem or whatever you call it? How do I be confident? Can I marry her? Should I marry her? Should I look for the characteristics/attitude/behaviour of an ideal wife that some of me colleagues-who-seems-to-have-married-a-couple-times mention? Should I stay with me/her parents first? Should I rent a house? Should I buy a house? Can I buy a house? Can I buy a console? Xbox360? PS3? or wait for other consoles? should I buy a PC instead? Mac? Why do wake up late even though I sleep early? Can I actually make a game? What's the first game should I create? Why is can't I find a pair of socks that matches? Why am I worrying so much??? aaaaAAaaAAaAaaahhHHhhHhhh sheeet...I'm having a headache~

*sigh* so many questions...but WHAT IS THE SOLUTION??? HOW DO I OVERCOME IT ??? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE IN LIFE??? CAN OR WILL I EVER ACHIEVE IT??? HOW DO YOU KEEP THE FIRE IN YOU GOING??? AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH~!!!!!

I can't stop thinking of the what's, the if's, the how's, the when's, etc....I know I need to think of solutions instead...but HOW???

some say just DO IT! but HOW??? do WHAT EXACTLY???

To my future self, you better be laughing your ass off reading this...I mean it!!! You better be thinking "haha...what a moron I was..." you better be the person who I dreamed to be...If you're not, go bang your head on the wall, get a lobotomy, and dye your hair blond, you stupid twit! WHY DA FUCK YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED???!!!!!!! IF YOU DID, WHY DID IT TAKE SO BLOODY LONG?? CAN'T YOU/ME/OR WHATEVER FUCK YOU ARE, CHANGE LIKE...NOW?!?!?!?

*sigh* I actually know/thought/ideas/whatever of how to solve SOME issues albeit somewhat~ but my body won't listen! (pfffttt...yeah right~ like its a totally seperate entity from yourself, you jackass?!)

when did it get so complicated? so overwhelming? man~ the difference/gap between the transition from one phase to the other is so~ HUGE! I mean...from kindergarten where you don't know jack shet...making friends like nobody's business, ask daddy or mommy you want this and that...

then in primary you start to get scolded for not doing your homework...getting pick on...learn about betrayals and trust...mommy or daddy can't suddenly give to your demands, a new term called 'money' is learned...

then came secondary school...things started to look complicated...can't simply be friends...can't simply play around that much...pressure of getting good results but didn't truly know or understand what the fuss is about...learned that money don't grow on trees...

then came college...different sort of teaching, different sort of workload...the sudden amount of freedom attained, unsure what to do with it...learning abit more about money...

then came the denial phase...you're on holiday...you want to have fun, don't want to work...somewhere along the line, parents starts to nag at you to go find work, you can't waste your time like this, money is getting short...finally, you have to wake up and go job hunting...

Working phase: Responsibilities being dropped on your shoulders, you think where should you spend your money, you think where to get more, marriage, workload totally different than you expected, finally understanding the word 'rountine', finding your dream job, thinking of opening up your own business, totally different style of social life, less in touch with your friends, commitments, family, ...and so much more I haven't discovered...

the other phases? I can't say...but I can guess...

Unfortunately, I'm to tired...I don't think the list of problems will ever end...for anybody, as a matter of fact...
I just need to start to think of the solutions and ACT ON IT!

shet...I've been writing this from 2:04 AM till 4:30 AM...off to bed...Although I feel abit better writing it out...but it still won't solve any of my problems.

fuck.

Sweeping Boredom to Blogging

Saturday
~*25/10/08*~

Woke up pretty late today~ had KFC for lunch with me sis...then sweeped the porch. Apparently me girlfriend saw me while she was entering Taipan...heh..

We waited for mum to come back...me & sis were really bored...we discussed about when and which console to buy...we're both bored...nothing to do at home...nothing fun i mean...the desktop is now considered as stone age, no new games could be played on the darn thing and the surfing the net is really slow... the lappy...some fairly old games but we're getting really bored playing it over and over again...*sigh*...money money money

When mum came back, we went out to one of her friend's open house. Got lost for about an hour plus...third times a charm though...hehehe...Got back, had a short supper at our favorite mamak restaurant, Melor...head back home, played the piano abit...and here I am...blogging...let's see how much I can update me blog...still a long way to go though...approximately 3 months worth of posts...lol

Motivational Verses of Love on Shisha

(Friday)

~*24/10/08*~

After work, met up with one of me old friend during Haj. I realized that we meet almost annually, funny..hehehe...but I do like to talk to him. He provides me with motivation. On how to find solutions not only for work, but also life. Everytime I meet him, he gives the boost that I need to light the fire in me. Thanks Haji Nashron.

After that, I rushed off to meet up with me girlfriend. We...I mean SHE had chicken chop...hehehe...then we talked about stuff mainly about movies that she recently watched; (malay movies) "Ayat-ayat cinta" and "I'm not single". It's nice to just sit & talk once in awhile ;p

Once I sent her home, I rushed off to meet up with me friends in SS15. Managed to talk crap & laugh about stuff for awhile before heading home.

It was a fun night. Got to meet with an old friend, have dinner & chat with my girlfriend and hang out with me fellow friends in a single night. Sweet~

Small Open House

Sunday
~*19/10/08*~

Went for aerobics (It's been awhile...hey, I've been fasting ok?). Then head over to the family's second rental apartment. It was in need of a new makeover before the new tenants arrived.

When we came back, we (including myself) spent 3 hours in the kitchen preparing for our small open house event. I just invited a few, just to meet up with them and see what have they been doing. I did the fries and the chicken (to my friends including my girlfriend, this is kinda of a shock...since I never actually learn how to cook) The fries weren't that fantastic, but I was proud with the chickens though :D

Anyways, after the 3 hour preparation...friends started pouring in...well...I invited a few, less than 20 actually...You can say I invited the "raya regulars" so to speak...hehehe...I know I know...I should've invited him and her and them and etc...but it's just me, me mum & me sis...previously we had a helper, but with one pair of hands short, it's kinda tough. Okay wait...that was a really lame excuse...since previously I rarely help during open house...We're not actually in the mood to do an open house...with granny passed away & all...This year's Raya wasn't that festive for me & me family. So to those not invited, my apologies...I promise, next time...you'll be invited ;)

So I guess you're wondering why did we have an open house? It was me friend's idea...hehe...he wanted to come over with the "raya regulars" and talk about how is everyone like the old times you know? And I thought to myself...why not? I really would love to know how is everyone...

As it turns out, the "raya regulars" (plus minus a few) came over...we chatted quite awhile and it was really refreshing. I got to know what they've been up to...what they're planning to do...have they met or keep in contact with the others...anyone else gotten married...

At first, I got me ear blown off when I forgot to invite another over...sorry Ili...hehehe...then they had their take on our cooking...(Don't worry, I told them where the toilets were in case my cooking disagreed with them :P) After they had their fill, we had our chat session...

Then our dear family friends showed up and it got a bit more festive :) with everyone hogging over me mum's delicious cookies...( oh...that's the other ulterior motive why my friend wanted me to open house...lol )

Hopefully next time I'd be able to invite more to come over and have a more festive and cheerful raya celebration...

Still Not Enuff Time

(Monday)

~*13/10/08*~

It's 5.53 and I ONLY managed to do 3 posts so far...for some reason the starbucks wifi was so darn slow...wasted a lot of time waiting...fark.

Black Out Freedom

(Monday)

~*13/10/08*~

Damn... its been a really long time since I could write anything...So many things to do, yet so little time...I got my first break today...Black out at the office. This is the third black out so far...the first two lasted a minute or two...but this one was several hours...Everyone thought it'll be like the last time...after a few minutes, the boss announced everyone to have an early lunch...lol...that was around 11-ish. And so we did had our early lunch downstairs...went back up...still no power...My friend wanted to buy a pair of socks at Giant across the street of our office...so off we went! Came back to the office (with a fresh new pair of socks for me friend) an hour later, still no power! So everyone waited, chatted among ourselves...some took turns playing the foosball at the lounge...Around 2, the boss decided for us to head back home... Yay!

Immediately went off to Summit to buy Ms Office (I mistakenly uninstalled it on me lappy the other day and realized I lost the CD after an hour or two rummaging the whole house...), bought a new black rubbery casing for me new (borrowed - hopefully will manage to tell you about it in a previous post...) handphone since the last two casings, plastic ones...keep getting into pieces when it goes into me jeans...

Got back home, look for last month's Streamyx bill, packed up the lappy and out I went. Paid the bills, went for a quick snack at Burger King and headed over to the Starbucks in Taipan. Ordered a Grande Expresso Frappuccino, set up me lappy and voila~ here I am :D

It's now 4.30pm and my goal right now is try to fill up the blanks in me blog from 5th of July until today!! Gulp! Wish me Luck! Here goes!

Oh, apologies are in order to my (future) self, who I know will be furious with himself for not being disciplined enough to make this a detailed diary of my activities in the past perfect! (Truly a fussy, Bloody Bastard Bugger that one~) and to my readers (if any) for not updating as often I would like... :P

Hellboy 2

(Thursday)

~*10/07/08*~

Hellboy 2...storywise...not that good....the creature design was awesome though...the only thing I like in the movie was the creatures...but it was more like medieval fantasy creatures rather than angels & demons thingy ... which is rather weird to see and a bit off from the theme of hellboy... really good creature/monster design...hopefully the guy would be in a fantasy movie next...

I forgot to bring me card...

(Monday)

~*07/07/08*~

aw crap...forgot to bring my card...the card for me to get into the office...I did go to work...had to wait for ppl to come out or in so I could sneak in...told the HR ppl that I forgot to bring my card...1^st time...so I thought I might wanna remember wen exactly I did this...and see how often it'll occur in the coming future...hehe

BBQ nite

(Sunday)

~*06/07/08*~

Had BBQ that nite at putraheights...a lot came, so it was fun...took some pics of it...can't remember anything else, I'm writing this on the 13th of October...lol

Hometown Sandals With Dragons

(Saturday)

~*05/07/08*~

Had lunch at Langat...one of me granduncles...

went to SACC with girlfriend to buy her sandals...had pizza hut for an early dinner...

Had our 2^nd play test session of d&d...we really need to understand the combat system...it's been revamped...though much simpler...I dunno...I'm not sure I like this new 4^th Edition so much...

That long huh?

(Friday)

~*04/07/08*~

Met a Haj friend at the mosque near me office...he didn't recognize me for awhile...he even asked me have we met...I remember his face...so I mentioned we met during Haj...he remembered...then he said its been 2 years since Haj...I was like...wow...yeah, didn't realized it was that long ago...how time flies eh?

Hancock

(Thursday)

~*03/07/08*~

Entertaining movie...funny...the way they get their powers is an interesting concept...nice to watch...story wise was not that good...its just entertaining and I like the concept of how Hancock gets his powers from...very nice...

Granny...

(Wednesday)

~*02/07/08*~

I found out that granny has breast cancer...didn't know what stage yet...the doc advise mum not to go for cancer treatment as she is too old for it...i guess its almost time...the only thing in mind I guess, is to for her not to be in pain...

goodbye old phone, hello new one! (well, technically its new to me la...)

(Tuesday)

~*01/07/08*~

Me mum received a temporary new handphone for her new post. So I get hers...Not bad, a Nokia 3110 Evolve...Plus my phone is close to its last breath...so I'm fine with the new phone...I know, I know...I should buy my own new handphone right? Unfortunately, financial issues is the current main problem & I'm saving it for other reasons...mainly my girlfriend's birthday, our anniversary for this month...and some savings as well as saving up with me sis to buy an Xbox360...still long way to go. ngaha~

I'm Hopelessly Narrow Minded

(Monday)
~*30/06/08*~

That day I was called hopeless by a friend and was called narrow minded by my girlfriend…haha...can't remember why me girl called me that...but we had a fight...then my friend IM'ed me during the fight...telling me about his other problems...I told him to forget it...before I could finish my sentence, he was pissed off...well, the other problem although was somehow related to him, but not at a personal level. He was having a really bad month...I wanted to told him to just block other problems & get himself back to shape before he handles other problems...unfortunately I didn't manage to get a word out...He was pissed off really bad...saying I don't care and all that...I know you have problems, but I do have problems myself...I know your problems, but do you know mine? Please be considerate...Sigh...really hate this other methods of communications...always send the wrong message. Prefer a good face-to-face talk...That way, miscommunication is set to a minimum.

So I got scolded by two people that day...and I was at my limit...I just had a great time yesterday and today before I managed to tell people how much fun I had...I was turned down because of their problems or what not...I'm not talking about only today...It had happened a couple of times previously...Its okay for people to have a great time and brag about it and don't bother to listen to my problems, but its not okay for ME to do it??? I got really damn fed up about that...My girlfriend understood and comforted me...Thanks dear & I apologize for you for taking the brunt of all my frustrations...Love you dear!

Play test 4th Edition & Poker

(Sunday)
~*29/06/08*~

Finally! Got the D&D 4^th edition! Me and some of me buddies did a playtest on the game…the game had a complete makeover…A tiny fraction of the combat system I admire…but the rest…I must say I was disappointed. The game had just become an mmorpg genre for some reason…pity…But I do love the new Dungeon Master book…It was better informed on how to become a dungeon master... In this 4^th edition, I won’t be a DM, only a player…for the sake of continuing the game that me and me friends had spend quite a lot for the past several years…

That nite we played poker with better rules…it was enjoyable…I had a blast that day, since it was the first time in a couple of months since I got to do what I really wanted to do…

Plans down the drain...

(Saturday)
~*28/06/08*~

A bunch of plans were cancelled since everyone was busy & stuff…really a boring day

Mentor Wanted

(Friday)
~*27/06/08*~

Me mentor’s last day…Thanx dude for all the teachings and lessons that you have imprinted into me thick skull…hope to see you around! Cheers!

Watched the movie “Wanted” that night…really cool movie…cheeky on how they explain their “abilities”…hehe…But what I really like is how the Fraternity exist and how they get their missions from…a very good idea! Never thought of that in a modern day movie…that was really good and the part where the hero enter the enemy stronghold with guns blazing and tossing…simply amazing!

crime rate going up?

(Thursday)
~*26/06/08*~

Just found out one of me customers purse got snatched…what is the world coming to?

birthday bash...literally

(Wednesday)
~*25/06/08*~

A friend of mine got whacked by some thugs and they stole his handphone on his way from the LRT station…and it was his birthday…managed to see him last nite to see how he is...got some cuts and stiches…sent him home…man, that guy had one helluva bad month…

1st Game of Poker & The Reunion

(Sunday)
~*22/06/08*~

Had me 1^st game of poker at a friends house and it was really fun! Though it was kinda messy since everyone wanted to have a go at it. May have to make some rules about the game to make it more balanced…But all in all, it was fun to play.

In the evening, I had a form 5 school reunion at Sunway Pyramid…Me old pal from England picked me up…I didn’t want to go at first, but after much persuasion from me pal…I tagged along. It wasn’t that big and not many came to the reunion…Well, at least I did enjoy the food~ ngehhehehe

English Cuppacake Poker

(Saturday)
~*21/06/08*~

Me good old pal came back from England today…Love the bugger for his unique sense of humor & having a go at him with a friendly round of expletives! LOL...Invited him out with me girlfriend to order cuppacakes for me & me girlfriend’s 8^th anniversary on the 28^th of July. Girlfriend brought her cuzzie along, and it was a blast! Though, 2 unfortunate events did occur:

1. I thought me pal got back yesterday, but in fact he got back today! So he was very tired due to the jet lag…Had to send him back home after the cuppacake order. Did manage to catch up on old times and an exchange of a couple of friendly banter… weee!

2. We weren’t be able to get the cakes on our anniversary date, but we will be able to get it on the 26^th…close enough! We’ll make some plans on where we’re gonna go on that day…

After sending me buddy off, my urge to purchase a poker set was really REALLY unbearable…so I decided to go to KLCC to go and buy ‘em. Invited me girlfriend and her cuzzie along…Below is the pic of the poker set that I bought at The Rooms Outlet.

It’s a 500 composite chip set with no denominations. It makes it easier for me to decide the value of each colored chips sets. Each color set has 100 chips. Due note it can also be used for other games like D&D (dungeons & dragons) where it can be used as currency OR used as status tokens (red for bloodied, blue for passive benefits, etc)

Quality was not that good…considered one of the lowest qualities if I’m not mistaken…but hey, I just wanna play for fun! With the chips, it makes it look authentic! Ngehehhehe…but of course, I’m playing it for fun…no real actual money will ever be involved. I did have worried looks from me girlfriend, her cuz and from me mum afterwards…Worried that I might get addicted and start to really play for money. A valid concern, but I believe I’m strong enough to fight off THAT urge…Guess no one can actually understand the feelings of a guy who loves to play games for the sake of having fun.

Here’s my reasons of buying it:

1. a simple game with an easy setup. You only need the poker set & nothing else. No need to buy any more expansion sets or different versions of the game (I’m sick and tired of keeping up to date for me PC’s or me D&D miniature sets where you need to keep putting money into it to keep the darn thing up to date)

2. Great replayability value

3. No technology or upgrades needed

4. Can be used for me D&D purposes

Shantel...

(Friday)
~*20/06/08*~

I was having a bad day for some reason...can't remember why...that night after work I had to wait somewhere in Kelana Jaya for awhile because my sis got her tuition somewhere there & I'm supposed to pick her up afterwards...so I went to a nearby cyber cafe and played poker on facebook...killing time...met this girl, her name was Shantel...she was the happy-go-lucky type, funny & friendly...had a good laugh and she managed to somehow forget all my worries away! Thanx Shantel :P

Sometimes I think we just need a good laugh to forget our worries...your head becomes clear, things will start to make sense, then you can figure out how to deal with the problems.

The Future...

(Monday)
~*17/06/08*~

Had a lovely chat with the girlfriend about the future and marriage thingy again...really have no idea how to plan that far ahead...I even asked me mum about it...am thinking to early or something like dat? Ah well~ Just one of those serious talk thingy...no biggie

My 1st Project I Got Involved...

(Sunday)
~*16/06/08*~

At work, this is the date I got into a my 1st real project...an Air Asia Project...Hopefully I can perform and up to expectations...

Car pool

(Saturday)
~*15/06/08*~

Me and me KDU friends meet up & had small talk. Afterwards we went to One Utama in one car with everyone agreeing to pay the driver some money for the person's fuel...cool & very thoughtful...

Can't remember much that day...ooh! I scouted the shops for the poker set!...but it was out of stock! Damn! I knew I should've bought it fast! Got contact numbers for their other branches...will call them to ask if they have in stock.

Cool company...

(Friday)
~*13/06/08*~

Had an internal gathering for the company...Very interesting...There was also an announcement that staff, including new staff members (a.k.a me), could claim fuel from the company in order to help us out. Wow...the monthly claim thingy would help me reduce about 20% of my expenses on fuel...Cool~

The Incredible Hulk, The Good Samaritan

(Thursday)
~*12/06/08*~

Was going to watch the premier of incredible hulk that night. When I got back home, I made a visit to me nearest 7-Eleven store to buy a pack of cigarettes...As I walk, I stumbled upon a wallet...lying there on the street...I looked around to see if anyone was looking for it...no one...people around me was completely oblivious to my findings...and I haven't picked it up yet! I picked it up and check the contents, I was thinking probably someone threw it away or something...A lot of junk, no money...but then I found an ID card...so okay...the guy must've dropped it then...went to the nearest police station and dropped it there...

It was an odd moment for me...Never done something like that...and I thought I'd be one of those who won't bother to hand things people dropped or something to the cops...Guess I was wrong about myself...Oh well~ Onwards to the movies!

Have you played the PS2 Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction game? If you did, you'd probably notice some moves in the movie follows the game...and those moves were really cool...hehe

The story was much better than the previous Hulk movie...The hulk himself is impressive...rugged looking hard-ass mo-fo...hehe...The battles themselves are TITANIC at best...ngeheheheh...love the movie :D

Oh, you guys should really watch Ironman first before you watch this...You'll understand once you see the ending of the movie...*wink* *wink*

The Awesomeness of Kungfu Panda!

(Sunday)
~*08/06/08*~

The movie was really nice to watch with the family...a family movie of sorts, hilarious...I was really surprised that Angelina Jolie was in there though...Not memorable, but just fun to watch.

(Tuesday)
~*10/06/08*~

Realized again of my temper...damn, is something wrong with me or do I just need a nice long vacation???

A favor for a favor

(Saturday)
~*07/06/08*~

I was supposed to play badminton but had to go to Sunway Pyramid. Me girl asked for a favor...she never once asked me to cancel any of my events before...since it was a favor, I told me friends I won't be coming...She wanted to payback a favor to her cuz who helped her once...So it was fine with me...Unfortunately for that day...there was this event on that day in Sunway...can't remember what's it called...But it was really pack on that day...

But overall it was fun...except for the huge amount of young “hip”(or whatever kids call this days...) kids wearing too many colorful or stylish beach wear I've ever seen in my life...LOL ← I felt really old that day...LMAO

Handphone Fair

(Thursday)
~*05/06/08*~

Me & me gurl went to this handphone fair...I thought there would be nice cheap discounted phones or something...there were...but not that many...Oh well~

Ok...can't remember that well what happen that day...ngehhehe...

Fuel Price Hike...

(Wednesday)
~*04/06/08*~

Fuel price went up that day...I jokingly told me mum I wanted to use the bicycle to work...Got a very nice reply from me mum:

“Don't need to ride a bicycle to work. Safety is more important than oil price. You'll just marry late...”
LOL...

That night I thought of going home late for I was sure as hell that people would go to the petrol station to fill up before the price hike by midnight...Damn was I wrong...It was raining and surprisingly the traffic was still very bad...Almost all petrol station in Malaysia was full of cars queuing to fill up...Stuck for a good couple of hours too...and it usually takes about half an hour to get home...bummer...

I'm The Nice Guy You Don't Want To Mess With...

(Monday)
~*02/06/08*~

That nite I had quite a temper...We were supposed to go out to Damansara...some friends invited me & told me to get ready...so I did...for TWO freaking hours!
I'm mad for a reason...when I invite anyone for anything~ ONE! I would notify them... TWO! Any changes, I would notify them immediately! THREE! Excuses saying that you're busy or distracted is just an excuse! What? You think I didn't have any stuff to do??? RESPECT EVERYONE'S TIME!uugghh~ No credit? Another excuse! If you invite, it IS YOUR responsibility! Shall we look at my point of view?

You love to hang out with your friends and you'd like to have a lot of group activities...so what do you do? You organize some activities: going cybercafes, badminton, movies, etc...and you've always organize it yourself since NONE of them are willing to help & they keep giving you excuses...(“For example: Oh I'm busy, could ask to do it?”) Oh right~! Like I'm not busy as well? So like what the hell right? I still go on, because I love to have group activities with my friends right? It's stressful like hell; one wants to play this, another wants to play that, some wanted at this time, some wanted that time...I had to go through all that so EVERYONE can enjoy...It usually feels great when it goes off successfully...

But when it comes to my turn? When it's my turn to just sit at home & wait for SOMEONE else to call/sms to tell me there's any activities??? This is what I get??? Don't you feel REALLY fucking unappreciated???

Took me a long LONG while to compose myself as to NOT to blow up in front of the guy's(who invited me that night) face! I reasoned in my mind; he's still young, it's his college life, I was like that too, I need to give them a chance...all this excuses in my head, just to cool me down...when we got there, I ask what happened & WHY did it took so long...its a long story, but the general thing is he STILL gives EXCUSES! He may got distracted, but THAT was no EXCUSE man! THANKFULLY, ONE OTHER friend DID APOLOGIZED, but HE did NOT! STILL GIVING EXCUSES! You know who you are...But I don't like mentioning names in blogs for security reasons. You really got to learn to admit your mistakes dude...

*sigh* one reason why I stopped organizing...someone got an idea to do something, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! DO NOT EVER DELEGATE TO ME AGAIN! Really ticked off about it...If you asked for my help, okay...fine...no problem...but when you suddenly delegate the whole crap on to me while you do nothing?

So dude, take responsibility for your actions & FACE the consequences whether its good or bad! Admit if you made a mistake, it's hard...I know...But it really helps to improve ones self. I've given a lot of second chances to your older brother & shrugged away all that shit he did to me (which he also rarely apologized too) . I realized it was mistake, I shouldn't be easy to a friend, I should be hard to those who I care. I now realized I would rather scold you for your mistakes so you can improve, rather than shutting up and let you worsen. My mistake. I got that when a KDU friend did it to me. I made a huge error, worse than my friend did to me on that nite...He was pissed off and really had a go with me...from that day on, I improved. My KDU friend actually complemented me one day & said I improved...I was fucking proud that I managed to improve myself NOT for his sake, but for mine...As he scolded me not for his sake, but improve me for MY sake. NOW THAT'S what friends are for!

So dude, strike ONE. Next time, I won't be so kind. For your sake. Not mine.

It takes a lot of guts to admit ones mistake dude...and it takes a little to lose a friend's trust.

Oh, this was also the first time I realized I was getting temperamental.

Oh yeah...I'm the guy who keeps a grudge until the person admits his/her mistake, honestly apologize, and improve him/her-self so as not to make it happen again. That person will not only gain my forgiveness & trust but as well my utmost respect.

For those who thinks an apology & forgiveness is not important, even among friends...think again...
No human being is perfect, that includes myself...One reason why words for apology & forgiveness exist.

Aisha Livia...

(Sunday)
~*01/06/08*~

Had our family aerobics at the MPSJ, went to sg. Buloh coz me mum wanted to buy some...er...soil? Dirt? Those garden stuff thingy...on the way, we stumbled upon the TUDM (Tentera Udara Diraja Malaysia) air show...cool jet plane maneuvers...loop-d-loop and stuff...the sonic boom was immensely deafening, sadly we didn't bring any cameras along :'(

On our way back home, me mum suddenly said she got a beautiful name for me daughter, Aisha Livia...Great~! I'm struggling to meagerly survive & me mum have thought a name for me daughter! LOL! Nice name though...

Went to Mydin for groceries...afterwards I went for a swim at 3K with a KDU friend of mine...when we were finished, we hang out at A&W until the rain stopped.
At night, went out with me gf. Had KFC...Ooh! 2 days of mums delicious tandoori! Nyum~! :D

A Sudden Revelation In The Last Week Of May

~*26th May*~ Monday

Blog got really outdated, started updating it from the company paintball post. "Cheated" with the post dates...ngehhehe...If you realized from the company paintball post, I've reduced my posts to rather short sentences...Either I'm too lazy or I don't have enough time...*Sigh* Time Management Issue again...

Got 2 good news:

1. A customer who wants to sign up as a distributor & purchase a water treatment system (WTS for short)

and 2. I received my other half of me paycheck from UM...

Bad news of the day:

1. Forgot to bring my corporate parking card...had to pay rm11 for the parking..Ouch!

We had a midnight badminton game from 11pm-1am...it was fun, there were 7 of us...plus I got to try out my new badminton shoes & racquet! Nyahahhaha~!

~*27th May*~ Tuesday

After work, I stayed at a nearby cybercafe for awhile to wait for the traffic to die down...had to recce the location of my customers house. If you're wondering, "recce" is an English short term for reconnaissance...and it's pronounced as "reki" in the Malay language, baku style! Heh... I was surprised that many used the word but never knew the meaning...

Since I was at the cc, tried playing some of those free non-money-use online poker...found one in facebook...getting a hang of it...really fun...I can understand how addictive it can be...I have to be very careful to not to go overboard & actually gamble or neglecting other responsibilities just to play the game.

Well, found the place...tomorrow's the day me & me upline demo the WTS to the customer.

~*28th May*~ Wednesday

Sent a colleague at work to his house (he needed a ride & I needed some time to kill)...went to ss15 for dinner...did my budget for May...met me upline, and off we went to me customers house...

Unfortunately, we somehow couldn't install the darn thing to the water tap at the customers house...Weird thing is, my upline has been doing this for years, but this was the first time he couldn't install it to the water tap...Murphy's Law, don't you just love it when it happens? But I kinda suspected I knew why...I'll tell you about it later. Fortunately however, the customer was okay & understandable about it & still wanted to purchase it. We told her we'll be coming again with the new WTS that she purchased & try to install it the next day.

Me & me upline went to ss14 for a late supper...nasi ayam & reviewed what went wrong...

For some reason that night, I was restless & couldn't get myself to sleep.

~*29th May*~ Thursday

In the morning, me mum showed old pics of her & me customer (they were friends during TKC & during their studies at Oxford, back then...) I was really surprised seeing me mum pics...she was SURPRISINGLY beautiful BACK THEN...LOL... I told her that, but added with a hint of sarcasm into it...We laughed our asses off...ngahhaha...Its nice to see the "back-in-days" albums...Reminiscing what happen during those times...On the way to work, in me car, I was wondering how I would be when and if (That's a BIG "IF", mind you) my kids looked at me old pics in the future...hahah...got a call from an old friend, haven't seen him in a long while. He said he saw me driving just now and saw me smiling like a twit for no apparent reason & asked if I was okay...Haha XD

At night, we came back to the customer's house and we were able to install the WTS on her tap. There were slight glitches, but it was far less problematic than the previous day. Heh, I knew it. I knew why it happened yesterday and to me, it's fully understandable. The real cause of the problem? 

I didn't pray 5 times a day.

It was so simple. I asked for a lot of things during Haj, and one of them was to make me successful in whatever I do...I have been consistent in performing my religious obligations & I have come to realized now that I was doing very well at that time...But as time passed, I got careless & neglected my prayers. I've been neglecting it for so long...I think it's time for me to be more responsible and focus more on my religious obligations. Of course, not only for business purposes, but to reduce my sins that I have committed on Earth & be thankful for what God has given to me. The WTS incident simply reminded me what I prayed for during Haj. If there's time, I may write a post of my experience at Mecca & indulge you why it always take me more than 5 minutes of "doa" after every prayer... ^_^

~30th May*~ Friday

Simply did a 3 month budget review from the month I started working until now. It was surprising where most of my expenditures went...Can you guess? It's a no brainer...Yeah, FOOD!...Hehe...My bad...The only consistency was paying my bills and buying me cigarettes for the whole 3 months...In terms of enjoyment, I doubled the expenditure in May (must be the movies...oh, and me buying sports gear for badminton & swimming trunks...hehe) My food & oil was consistent except May, which increase by 100% (Figures, I got me UM paycheck & went overboard...LOL). Did me budget on a spreadsheet...Hopefully this will help me monitor & control me finances...

Swimming in the Sunshine on my Day Out

~*24th May*~ Saturday

Went swimming at 3K center...cheap too, RM3 per entry...its been so long since I swam in a pool...It was blast albeit rather ravenously hungry and with body aches everywhere, after the swim...haha

we hung out somewhere nearby for a meal...well, they did...I didn't feel like eating for some reason...

At night, I hung out with me girlfriend & her cousin at A&W since she needed to ask me some questions about computer stuff...Sadly, I couldn't answer her questions...Though it did made me wonder how I got my Degree in Computer Studies...LOL!

But that night I had a very wonderful, good sleep. *sighing in content*

 ~*25th May*~ Sunday

Watched Baby's Day Out in the morning...hehehe...the baby is so cute, kinda miss these kind of movies... ^_^

Went Midvalley & The Garden with me girlfriend...Just window shopping, as well as searching for poker chips (Yeah, I'm still keen to buy them...They just look so damn cool to play with...hehe) Found out that there seems to be a standard price for the poker sets ( Couldn't find any that sells the poker chips only) 300 chips for RM199 & 500 chips for RM299 with 5 dices, a deck of cards & a dealer button, with a suitcase to boot...Ah well, maybe later...We didn't go back empty handed though, me girlfriend bought a Rubiks cube at The Garden. She said she had one before & wants one again...

Lunch at Midvalley's foodcourt, dinner at f.a.b in ss15 & KFC as well! Afterwards, had to send her home, cousins from Kedah came over & having a steamboat dinner at Flammings...Weeee~! ^_^ (I don't deny that I love to eat...ngehehehe)

Back home, saw a movie called sunshine...not bad...

The Urge & The Whip

Recently wanted to learn about Texas Hold'em Poker (probably because I played blackjack with me friends the other night...with some fun gambling (still with no money involved...just for kicks) I checked some websites for tutorials & how the game works...then I got interested about it...but I wanted to play it with a bit of authenticity...I wanted to play with the poker chips...no money involved of course, just for fun...

After work, went to One Utama with a friend which I bumped with along the way...but the poker chips came in sets, with playing cards, dices, a dealer button & a briefcase...expensive too...Since I couldn't find a place to the poker chips only, I didn't buy the set. Didn't expect it to be that expensive. My friend thought I was crazy to just come all the way here and not buy anything...Well, that's one of my weaknesses...If it's one of my urges, I'll go all out to do it...You know the feeling? You simply just wanted it so badly...But of course, I then realized I had to get back home for the Indiana Jones movie which I planned to watch with me mum & sis...So I rushed back to me car...but my mind was still on those poker chips...i got lost for awhile in ou...hehe...can't believe i could get lost there of all places...been going to One Utama since the last 4 years...and I got lost??? Haha

Got there in time, watched the Indy movie with me mum & sis...ending is Spielburg all the way...The movie was an OKAY ending for Indy...The ending was a Spielburg ending...there will be no doubt that its a Spielburg movie...*Sigh* Ah well, at least now I can say my goodbye to the Great Indiana Jones...No one can ever replace Harrison Ford as Indy...Cheers~!

Movies that looks interesting to watch:

Journal : 20th - 22nd May

~*Tuesday*~

Still learning how to play Civilization 4...

Mum said I've been neglecting or isolating myself from the family...Need to do something about that...

~*Wednesday*~

Mum got pissed off in the morning...My bad...

Found a very interesting blog, called La Estrella, very interesting...I liked the way the writer wrote her posts...To me, it's very poetic & deep...check it out, its on me link...

~*Thursday*~

Met my girlfriend's brother-in-law again, talked more about the insurance thingy. 

Realized that my journal is waaaay behind~ Not sure if I have the time to keep updating it...

Narnia Revisited

~*19th May*~ Monday

Woke up and tried again to play the piano while singing after lunch...

Went to see Narnia again with me girlfriend at the Summit. While waited for them to let us in, we went to the arcade and played Daytona (which i won, obviously), Silent Scope, and some motorcycle game where you have to use your butt to maneuver the bike...hahaha...That was fun...

In the movies, saw Hancock trailer...it looked damn well interesting...I don't actually have to repeat my review of Narnia again, do I? Hehe...Just to make amends with me girlfriend since I promised to watch with her...plus it was cool to see King Edmund & Prince Caspian again...LOL

During the evening, wanted to watch this "Afterlife" animated series...it looked somewhat like "I am Legend"-ish...But unfortunately, it lasted only several minutes, I didn't manage to watch it...did watched "Meet Joe Black" though...Loved the movie, I've watched it several times already and I still can't get bored watching it...

Damn, just realized I've been going to the Summit too often...need to go out more...I mean, somewhere else...but where?

Days of Aching Pain Ahead of Me...

~*17th May*~ Saturday (continued)

On the way back from the paintball event, I forgot to buy some "tanah itam/merah" (sorry, not sure what's it called in English...Red Soil???) for mum...Dehydrated, tired, and my body is getting stiff by the minute...LOL

As we head back to the office, one of my car warning indicator lit up (erm...the engine symbol?) Thought something wrong with the engine or something...so I waited for about an hour or so to let it cool down...Had lunch over there...After an hour passed by, went back into the car, started the engine, the warning indicator didn't go off...So I quickly rushed to me favourite workshop. Turns out that it wasn't a big deal..just some problem with the wiring with lights...well, the good news I don't have to spend another load of cash on the car...but the bad news was that I wasted a good hour just waiting...heh...well, better safe than sorry...

Body ache, Couldn't bend me knees...couldn't even bend me pinky...ngahahaha

Went out with me girlfriend that evening...Sunway & Summit...bought some stuff...had KFC! Yay~! I know, I know...I need to lose weight...but it's soooooooo haaaaaaaaarrrdddd! LOL!

Midnight, went to putraheights to hang out with some friends. Afterwards, went to a friends house to supposedly help him out in one of the levels in Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter...Couldn't help much...I believe I could finished the level if I had more time...But I was damn tired & not so in the mood, we instead played blackjack til 3 or 4 in the morning ... hahahah

 

~*18th May*~ Sunday

Woke up pretty darn late...body still aching...for some reason, I tried playing the piano while singing...It's tougher than I thought...played about an hour plus...

That evening, went out with a friend...he wanted to borrow some of me Star Wars books for his 3D references...glad I could help out.

Played Hitman: Blood Money (probably because I watched the Hitman movie...)

At nite went out to Kota Damansara and had shisha (At this point, my whole body ached like hell & I moved like an old man...LOL)

Started playing Civilization 4...Better than its predecessors...a totally different style of gameplay so I need some time to get used to it...Sorry guys, I don't think I'll be continuing my previous "Geek Mode"...ngahahahhaha

Company Paintball!

~*17th May,Saturday*~

The company's paintball event! Weeee~! We met up at the office in the morning, to convoy our way to the premise...Some (those who know the route) head there first. It's in Sungai Buloh...I had to lead the convoy since I was the only one who actually (sort of) knew where the place is...plus, no one actually printed out the map that we gave out on the intranet...haha...

Once we reach there, I mostly had to deal with the Mudtrekker (the name of the place) dudes...(I'm getting the hang of this organizing thing, I think)

It was slightly unfair though...there was 22 players...so 11 ppl each team rite? But 1 from our side went the other team (no idea why)...so it was 12 vs 10..I was one of the 10's, and I was also the only one who had played the game before...AND i had to lead the team...I said I'm getting the hang of it, don't dump the whole load on me at once! LOL! But the purpose of the event was just to have fun, and we all did...Success! ^_^

I've forgotten how tiring paintball really was...We only played 3 games of 5 minutes each, and after 2nd game I thought I'd die due to lack of oxygen...ngehehe...After our game, couple of pros came by & played. We had to stay inside the tent for awhile before we could leave (don't want to get shot, do we?) At least we get to see pros played...Damn cool looking markers...Electronic Markers, pull the trigger once, and 14 pellets spews out...That's some scary shit if you're on the receiving end. 

Anyways, here's some pics of the company paintball event:

1st pic: My supposed 12 member team

2nd pic: Marshal giving the rules of capture the flag game 

3rd pic: My thoughts at that moment were "Oh shet, me the leader? You're shitting me, right?". Note the fake smile...LOL

4th pic: Two team leaders (me in the center) deciding our last game, assault scenario. My team defends the area, while the other team attacks...

The 22's who came, thanks a bunch for coming & making it happen!