Wednesday, February 27, 2008

How's It Going To Be...


Well, I think I know how's the structure(somewhat) of me blog...I'll start with an introduction of myself(and my background a bit), I think I would like write down all the memories that I remember from birth until now...hahaha...sounds like a daunting task, but believe me...I can't remember much. I guess I would to make this blog as my archive of memories that I don't want to forget. Oh and in between these will include any interesting ideas that pops up into my head or I may write today's adventure or etc...
Here goes!

Guess I'm Still New To This Blog Thingy...

Yesterday was an interesting day...I started me blog in the morning during office hours(just started working in February.Not a bad of a place to work), my girlfriend was excited for me about blogging (we chat online on Yahoo Messenger, also during office hours), work work work...then it was time to go back.She wanted to see me tonight so I went to pick her up. We went for a casual "mamak" dinner, had a fun chat since we haven't met for awhile (I'm broke, so we haven't meet for sometime [I'm waiting for my first pay as well as my previous part-time pay which I have been waiting since December!])We were chatting and chatting until she asked a question, i answered truthfully...then *poof!*

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman's Scorned...

After dinner, drove her back home...inside the car was eerily quiet...well, hardly talking actually. Tried small talks...didn't work...so I drove in silence till her house, got back home...text message a few friends just to know what's up. Mostly me ex-students(I'll come to this later...) in UM, later learned they've got a presentation the next day (which is today), told them good luck and that I'll be coming to their dinner this weekend .The dinner is at night, following me mum(she's a lecturer in UM) along since she's a bit scared coming home late with all this robberies happening lately (crime increase incredibly high in my area all of a sudden...I'm really quite worried about that) Then I text her to say I'm sorry and got a vicious reply from her. It hurts so I called to ask her if she's alright...she sounded fine but then the phone cut off (her phone has some problems). Thought of calling her again, but I text her instead saying that I just called to make sure she's alright and that I don't think I'll call(or in any other forms communication, just so to give her space) her since it'll cut off again & (I believe) would make her more pissed off than she already is. I also wrote hat I'll be online today if she wanted to chat. I got another vicious reply again. I know she's in her monthly (and I'm assuming the hormones are acting up) so I wasn't hurt that bad, I guess...I didn't know what else to do,so I lied down on my bed & read a novel a friend lend it to me. Couldn't even read a single sentence. So I closed the book and tried to sleep. It was hard to sleep since I keep having these thoughts in my head. I can't remember exactly, but it's along this lines:

Hope she's okay...

Hope that it's a small matter...

At least I told her the truth rather than she finds out another way...

That'll be worst than now I guess...

I'm getting what I deserve then!...

(At this point I was trying to calm myself & trying to justify
myself)

Hope what I'm getting into isn't costing our relationship...

Wonder what will happen when we break up...

(Then suddenly this thought came up...took me another hour to sleep...oh, at this time I guess I was really distracted because I
didn't notice my phone received a few messages from my girlfriend and some of my friends)

Today, not much is happening. Went to work. Chat with me cousin in Australia. Couldn't concentrate on work much...The current situation between me & me girlfriend is...hey, she just messaged me on ym! Had an argument...to make the story short...we kiss and make up (figuratively speaking, of course) :)

But it begs the question though: Since blogs are, quoting some words from my cousin, meant for the reading pleasure of the public, and you can write what's on your mind...so...I just had this thought...what happens if you write what's on your mind about...lets say...your partner,
and she stumbles or she has your blog site...where does that lead to?

If your partner is open minded, I guess it will be alright. But let's say if your partner isn't that open-minded? What
then? Do you guys fight over between your right to write whatever is in your mind? or your right to publicly share that
information to the public? or your partner being pissed off or hurt by what you wrote is wrong? or that they never thought
you would write so openly? Then what?

Oh my girlfriend knows about this blog site...I gave it to her...Did I mention that?

Am I making sense? Well,please feel free to comment on this...would like to have some opinions about it...

I thought I understood how blogs work...

Guess I'm still new to this blog thingy after all...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Introduction of Me Self

I believe an introduction is in order for those who don't know me...Just so to formally start me blog :)

Name's Aadrian. Friends call me "Aad"(in text messages) for short, and its pronunciation sounds like "Ed". The right pronunciation for my name i guess would be "Aaaadrian", but most pronounce it "Adrian". I noticed that some people (mostly the old folks) calls me "Andrian"...Apparently a famous singer or what not in Malaysia during their time and people could not seem to pronounce any other way except "Andrian"...Bummer...I don't mind much about it...But still...

Born in Liverpool in 1985, on March 18th. Can't remember much about my hometown since I was only there twice. Once when I was born (duh~!) and second was when my mum came back to England to continue her studies or something and I followed.

About myself...hmm...let's see...I think if I was someone else and saw me the first time, they would ask themselves "woah, who's uncle is this?"...hahaha...people say I looked much older than my age. There was this one time, I wore a shirt and black pants (office look, so to speak), went to pick up my sis and the school guard thought I was picking up my DAUGHTER...Ouch!

I tend to be blur at times...and forgetful. I can't remember names so well (unless it's a unique name or something interesting happened to the person), but I can't forget a face. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, more too small little details (you have no idea how many times I reread my posts and keep editing it until I'm satisfied) but weird enough...my room is a mess...haha

I would like to be more of a gentleman and British-like, but only sometimes. I seem to have a bad habit of underestimating any type of measurements when I speak or write.For example, "Oh, you broke your arm? That must hurt a bit...". Get my point? I am a bit shy when meeting new people (don't quite know what to talk about sometimes...) but once we're friends, you'll forget I was shy at all! I tend to embarrass my myself quite often when I'm hyperactive.(note the word "quite", its misleading)

I'm bad at telling stories but determined to improve on it. Bad at describing anything in words...couldn't seem to find the exact words for it but also determined to improve on it. Hot tempered, but I usually keep it to myself. I know it's bad...it's like a volcano. But the reason why I don't tell people off when I'm angry is because I tend to tell every single fault he has done from the day I know him (it's the side effect of bottling it up) and I tend to be irrational and very emotional about it, which is not good because I'm know I'm not thinking it straight.

I believe I'm a good listener :) . Which I'm proud of...but not too keen in giving advice though, because I believe they should figure it out themselves. Another reason is that although I may have experienced what they are experiencing, but we both live seperate lives and in a different environment. I may or may not help the person. But I give it anyway, well...advice based on my opinion, of course. I can hang out and tolerate almost with all types of people and sometimes I do get "How can you be friends with THAT guy/gal?", quite often. I think the reason why I can talk to anyone is because of an article I read from a religious class textbook when I was in primary school. It mentioned about how the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w talk to people, the Prophet would (Okay...I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I hope you can understand what I'm about to explain...here goes) accommodate the person who he is talking with by talking the same way (or style, so to speak) of how the person talks. For example, a man is talking in pidgin English with me, so I speak pidgin English with him. So as to make him feel more comfortable to talk with me. I was impressed by the simplicity and how sensible it was and have been practicing it ever since. I try to talk about their interests most of the time (well, some topics I'm not so knowledgeable of; for example, football) :) But I am open-minded to talk about anything.

I enjoy food but picky about them. I also have a quite low willpower and/or lack of discipline to stop myself from indulging on certain things...such as my eternal struggle to stop smoking...been trying (trying is actually a very poor choice of words but I can't find a better (or poorer) word to describe it) for years.

f3r0^NoX is my game name during high school. It was during when Counterstrike was very popular and clans started showing up. I was from the "f3r0^Ci0us" (can't exactly remember the spelling) clan and every member must start with "f3r0" in the beginning of their game name. I got stuck with it for awhile but rarely use it. But it looks cool, so I kept it :)

Hmmm...What else? I'll talk about my interests (not in any order):

Love art or anything artistic. But not the abstract kind...I don't understand abstract.

Love cartoons, manga, anime & comics and all that but as usual,no time.

I like to read books; science fiction, fantasy, fiction, etc.I don't mind the genre or if its romance, comedy, conspiracy or action-packed or etc as long it has a damn good plot or story. I read books like Dan Brown's Da Vincci Code, Digital Fortress and his other series are quite interesting. Read Shogun, Noble House, Gai-jin by James Clavell. But lately I've been reading more to science fiction and fantasy. I can usually finish a book in a day or two because I'm a fast reader. For example, I read finish the Shogun book (around 1000 pages or so) in two days minimum. Why? Because during those days I had the time & when I read books that I'm interested in, I'm usually too engrossed to do anything else. Nowadays, since I started working, I've been reading books when I can. Most of the time before I sleep. Sometimes I'm too tired, I read about a line or two then I just can't go on and just close the book and sleep. Sigh...So sad...

I'm a Star Wars fan. Read the novels & comics, seen the saga a couple times, played the games (PC (to me, KOTOR is the Star Wars RPG so far),PS2,tabletop...anything...oooh, can't wait for Star wars: Force Unleashed!) I love the Knights of the Old Republic Era as well as during the Clone Wars. Why I love Star Wars? Probably because the Star Wars Universe is interesting; the Jedi/Sith, the lightsabers, Mandalorians and the entire universe itself is amazing! :) How George Lucas could come about this idea is beyond me...but thank god he did!

I'm interested history. Especially during the ancient times or medieval times(any era, in fact). Well during school, I hate history...probably because its not the world history only the Malaysian history? But certain parts in Malaysian history are quite interesting too. The Discovery Channel is the best source of information for me but I don't seem to be watching as often as I would like. I only watch it when I have the time or when me mum or sis don't have anything to watch (which is rare) on telly.

Another interest of mine is myths, folklore, and mythologies. It's interesting to hear or read about them. Even fictional. The Movie "Leagues of Extraordinary Gentleman" is amazing idea how they combine some myths and fictional book characters together. Very lovely~! Mythology...I am fascinated more towards Greek mythology, Scandinavian/Norse mythology (Vikings right?) and Egyptian mythology. How people could come up with these mythologies and how people could believe in them is fascinating for me.

I guess I'm interested in war as well, world war I and world war II stuff, the Trojan war and all that. The technologies involved in making weapons or fortresses or whatever is amazing and you kind of having a great amount of respect that they thought about it during those times. I'm very interested the strategies & tactics of the modern warfare and also during the old times. Strategies in how they conquer the lands and all that. I got interested in tactical side is because of movies where how the squads communicate in each other and depending one another. The amazing teamwork among themselves is what I am really amazed off. Guess that's why I have recently have a thing for paintball. I'm hoping I can play paintball with my friends in a few months time so we can have a good time. Hopefully not speedball because that's more of a fast paced team deathmatch with little tactics involved. Woodsball would be best. Actually, airsoft is the best for such tactical games but unfortunately there is none in Malaysia due to the fact that Airsoft weapons looks exactly like the real weapons today and even weighs the same! Airsoft have tons of weapons from handguns to grenade launchers! Cool...Too bad there're none in Malaysia...Damn...but I hope I could get the chance to play Airsoft IF I ever get out of Malaysia...

Oh, I'm starting to like organizing events...well...I've just organized small events with my friends for badminton , going cybercafes and stuff like that. Will try to organize for the paintball event, hopefully many would turn up. It feels nice if you organized it well and a lot of people turn up and you the that sense of satisfaction. Real nice feeling...

My greatest interest/passion is my love for games. I'm into any form of games, be it on computer, consoles, tabletop or even boardgames. Someone once ask what exactly do you like about games...I couldn't get a definite answer for that question. Its either the gameplay, great story line, the AI, the graphics or if there is any teamwork involved with AI or with other players...I'm not sure yet. But I really do love games. I've played a lot of computer and console games and started recently to start playing tabletop and boardgames. Actually I've been wanting to play tabletop games and boardgames for a long time but I couldn't find where to buy those games or who would be interested in playing them. But presently(about 3 or 4 years ago), I have managed to find a small group of my friends who are interested in playing these games with me! Wee~!

Let's see...I've played Munchkin( bloody interesting card game),Twilight Imperium (Best space civilisation ever!),World of Warcraft: The Board Game (not bad), Shadows over Camelot (cool game), and lot's more! I played most of the board games at a cool cafe called "The Settlers". They've got a lot of boardgames where you can play by charging by the hour. It's like cybercafe, but change the computers to boardgames. But recently they've changed management and now it's called "The Mage Cafe". A bit toned down compared with previous management because boardgames like Twilight Imperium or World of Warcraft is a bit too long for them and they can't get enough sales or something like that. So, although they still have boardgames, but only the short games are left. Damn.

I love playing Tabletop RPGs(Role-Playing Games). Mostly me & my friends play Dungeons & Dragons( but we've stop playing it...because we can't wait for D&D fourth edition! Woohoo!).Now we're playing the Star Wars RPG Saga Edition. Why I love tabletop rpg? I guess it's because it allows freedom for the players to whatever they want. They can use their creativity to solve a certain task as well as doing stupid stuff that you can never do in computer/console games :)

This leads to one of goals in life,to have my own game company. I just want to create at least one game...I don't mind if it being the worst game ever, but I just want to feel the satisfaction of creating one. :) I even have several game ideas, I keep updating them with new ideas & what not...Just hoping that I'll get my chance.

That's all...

Ooh! I can perform reverse parking very well! Ahahhahaah...

Cheers~!

Oh by the way, I think I'll cancel my idea of creating a structure for the blog. I'll just write as time goes by...can't keep drafting a post. I'll keep re-editing again and again...so there...

The Beginning of Me Blog...

Where do I begin? It did not occur to me what it was that I wanted to write about, simply the need to create a blog. This blog perhaps has no intention other than the mindless ramblings of the person, even a type of release for stress, and may also include stories or ideas that came to me. I may write in proper english to improve my english writing skills or may even write in Manglish. Manglish is the mixing of two languages: Bahasa Malaysia and English together for those who don't know. Please, any comments to improve my english is most welcomed. But when I write in Manglish , that means I don't give a rats ass (pardon my language, but profanities may be included in the future) about my grammar. Oh on another note, I may write as I please without following any what sort of order...hopefully that won't happen much.

Damn, I just realised the above would be perfect for my introduction. Oh well...

In the introduction I mentioned it was weird for me to start a blog. Let me explain why. When blog first introduced to the public, I thought it was a stupid idea. Why? To me, it looked like a public diary where anyone (or based on their privacy setting, which I just found out) can read about it.It sounded dumb to me. I think that's the reason why I hate the blog idea. But that does not mean I thought people who writes blogs were dumb or anything like that. It's simply my opinion. Even my girlfriend is doing it...so I don't mind if others are doing it, it was simply dumb to me.

Now? I don't know... I guess I want to try it out as well as finding a place where I can just write about something or anything...I also noticed the other uses this blogs could do, which I found some are very interesting to read. I guess it's no longer dumb to me anymore...