I seem to have a knack for it. The more I try NOT to embarrass myself, the more worse it gets. And I hate the feeling of it afterwards, it keeps repeating over and over inside my mind. Really shitty feeling. I know you can learn from your mistakes, which I understand fully...but that doesn't stop from you feeling all...well, shitty. But the worst of all, that I really can't stand is those "looks". Those certain "looks" that looks down on you, like you're something to be avoided.
What can I do?
Tried being myself, it didn't work.
Tried to impress(I know, it's stupid to impress), I ended up embarrassing myself.
What can I bloody possibly do?
Believe me, I don't MEAN to do it on PURPOSE. But it happens, so WHY the BLOODY HELL are you looking at me like THAT for?
I just want to fit in, you bloody twit! I tried to be friendly, but none of you buggers give a damn. Fine, then I thought all of you might be busy to notice with all your bloody work, so I waited for someone...no, ANYONE to talk to me when they're free, but NO...That didn't work either! (Well, some did...and for that, I thank you)
Damn, I just realized I'm a bit off from the topic...sorry about that, needed to release some steam off from some of those buggers who gave me the "look". Bloody Bastards...
But sometimes I pity my girlfriend as well as my friends, what if I AM an embarrassment? I feel sorry for them, as if they deserve a better person than me. Damn. Like I said, shitty feeling, I hate it.
I'm tired of writing, I need someone to talk to...
What can I do?
Tried being myself, it didn't work.
Tried to impress(I know, it's stupid to impress), I ended up embarrassing myself.
What can I bloody possibly do?
Believe me, I don't MEAN to do it on PURPOSE. But it happens, so WHY the BLOODY HELL are you looking at me like THAT for?
I just want to fit in, you bloody twit! I tried to be friendly, but none of you buggers give a damn. Fine, then I thought all of you might be busy to notice with all your bloody work, so I waited for someone...no, ANYONE to talk to me when they're free, but NO...That didn't work either! (Well, some did...and for that, I thank you)
Damn, I just realized I'm a bit off from the topic...sorry about that, needed to release some steam off from some of those buggers who gave me the "look". Bloody Bastards...
But sometimes I pity my girlfriend as well as my friends, what if I AM an embarrassment? I feel sorry for them, as if they deserve a better person than me. Damn. Like I said, shitty feeling, I hate it.
I'm tired of writing, I need someone to talk to...
5 comments:
haha, your not the only one so don't worry. but for me it's pretty easy. I don't mean to embarass myself i just do because i have a very loud voice. i don't really care what people think especially if i'm not friends with them or i'm only going to see/meet them once. and if you really do find it anoying? maybe just stop trying. you might get somewhere if your not trying... just let things happen and watch the world go by. and another plus to that is that you can laugh at those 'buggers' when they do something completely ironic, etc.
good luck. :)
Hey mushroom, (u dun mind me calling u dat? :P )
thanx for the comment. actually, I'm surprised someone is actually reading my blog...and at a later post at that...really appreciate for the advice. True enuff, i'm starting let things happen instead forcing/trying myself to meet some1's expectations...hehhe...well, just wanna say thx for reading & 4 d advice.
P/S: oh, read ur blog...ur own perspective on fashion...nice :D at least u have a sense of fashion...hehe...i don't have the word "fashion" in my dictionary...lol. a bit blown away by the color tho (made my eyes pop out...):P
thx again! cheers~
Trust me, no one can embarrass themselves more then I can, but i lack in confidence so much that everything i do is embarrassing, so i've decided to do what i want, weather its embarrassing or not, and not worry about it, live your life for you, and who you want to be. no one else, if they think your embarrassing, so let them, why should we care ? its all about confidence :) x
My pretty neighbor who always wears a dress with high heels, let me strip nude and masturbate in front of her. She told her girlfriends what I did. Then she and her girl friends watched me masturbate. They sat in front of me and watched me jerk off and cum. They liked it. I loved having them talk about me and laugh at me as they watched me beating off, so I jerked off in front of them three times. Each time I came real hard. They watched me cum and it felt great. They were all gorgeous brunettes. I loved it :)
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